In just two days I have the absolute privilege of becoming the wife of James Young.
We have been talking about writing a blog about our experiences of dating and have decided to do it!
You can read Jimmy’s post about things that he has learnt here.
Now it’s my turn.
Dating Jimmy for the past 3 and a bit years has been an amazing time, filled with plenty of twists and turns.
Here are the 5 best things I learnt whilst dating!
You not only want to find out everything you can about the other person, but also be able to be best friends with them!
If you’re thinking about getting married to this person, you’ll eventually be spending every day with them, so to be best friends is what will hold you together when other things don’t go to plan.
Best friends means getting to know everything about them, getting to know their family and friends, spending time together, supporting each other, challenging each other, and laughing and crying together.
I can’t count on my hands the difficult things that James and I have walked through together.
Every couple has things that come up, things that were unexpected that are painful and hard to get through.
Supporting a partner can be a difficult thing to know how to do.
But don’t despise these situations, as they are an opportunity for you to love selflessly.
They are an opportunity for you to be loyal, to be a friend, to be thoughtful, to be present, to put your needs aside for your boyfriend/girlfriend.
And this, I hear, is what will hold a marriage together in the end – being able to put the other person before yourself.
3. Be willing to take compliments, and challenges from your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Your boyfriend/girlfriend will give you compliments.
You’re in a relationship, there is probably some level of attraction.
Take the compliments! Say thank you!
Often both guys and girls hear things from their boyfriend/girlfriend and are way too quick to shrug it off.
Listen to what the other person is saying about you.
Not only that, but, provided they’re doing it in love, be willing to listen and hear what the other person says about who you are, and about things you could improve on.
If it’s for the sake of being mean or denigrating, then run!
But don’t run if the person it is coming from is respectable and can also hear things that you bring up.
Communication is key and works best when two people can stop to listen and hear each other.
You’re sharing life with another person, so inevitably, you can’t do that if you have walls up.
Everything becomes visible – the things you like about yourself, and the things that you don’t.
Being in a relationship is probably one of the scariest things you can do, if you’re prepared to be honest with each other about everything.
You’re never more vulnerable with another person, and it’s quite daunting.
Working together, these insecurities come out and can be choked, if you’re willing to put in the work.
Don’t be scared when your insecurities are revealed, just be scared of them never changing.
If you work together to see where the lies are in your thinking, you’ll slowly be able to dismiss them by replacing them with truth.
5. Having older couples to give you advice is one of the greatest gifts.
If you have friends who are married, a few years older than you, and have been where you are, their words of encouragement and guidance are priceless.
James and I would have struggled a lot more if we hadn’t received the support we have from people who got alongside us and nurtured our relationship.
We had friends who gave us advice about the physical side of things, learning about each others’ families, how to love each other in suffering, when is wise to get married, prayed with us and always pointed us to Jesus.
We are SO looking forward to getting married. We are looking forward to learning more about how to love each other better. We’re not perfect at all, but by God’s grace we’ll be able to work together to continue to love each other ’til death do us part.’
What about you? What is the single best thing you have learnt whilst dating – leave a comment below